Is The Coach, Coachable

Is the coach, coachable?  Ok, let's focus on a couple of thing.  First, “People come into your life to teach you about yourself!”  One of the things I learned before I turned 30 was that people are really an image of one's self.

Now, I know this sound kind of crazy, but let's really look at what this means.  In the last couple of posts, we talked about traits and these traits are developed or made with our attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors.  Now, we all know that there are four main traits; Supporters (helpers), Promoters (flamboyant), Analyzers (nerds), and Controllers (bossy).

Each main group is broken up into sub-groups.  For instance, can a Promoter also be an Analyzer?  Yes, they are known as Promoting analyzers.  This mean, that they will be very flashy and have a set way in which he or she conducts themselves.  Now remember, an Analyzer is someone who will generally say…”now in order for us to get one goal, we have to shoot on the net 10 times for 1 puck to go in.”

Ok, so here's the next concept.  In today's world we call it profiling.  But back in the late 80's we called it being judgmental.  However, a rose by any other name is still a rose.  So why is it that we judge other people?  Well, in order for us to judge other people, we are really looking within our own life's experience to see why people do the thing they do.  So in reality when we judge other people, we are really looking at a mirror of ourselves, because we can only see in them, what we do.

So let's talk about those attitudes, beliefs and behaviors.  Let me tell you a little story.  Back in the early 60's my Dad bought a small two bedroom house to raise the family.  You know the kind of house with a back porch, and a Barbecue pit that he made with his two hands out of red clay bricks.

Plus you can see several dead plants in the back yard and some weeds here and there.  My Dad, like most Dads, wanted more or something better for his growing family.  Well, some new neighbors moved in next door to us and one day my Dad took some of those red clay brinks from the unfinished Barbecue pit and made some little stairs to look over the brick wall into the neighbor's backyard.

To his surprise, the neighbor had put in a waterfall with gold fish in it.  New plants, beautiful green grass that you could putt on and my dad was amazed, he fell in love with this backyard.  So he turned his head, looked at our backyard only to see that he didn't have green grass, but several dead bushes, and an unfinished Barbecue pit.  So he tells me, “We can have that kind of yard, if we only had the money…son, can you grab me another beer!”

Well, not to long after that, the neighbor's moved out and the house was up for sale.  Well, at that time, we had a full family with a mom, a dad and three kids.  So, he decides, to move in next door and now all of his problems would be solved.  He had more space and no more troubles in the backyard with all of those dead bushes and weeds.  So we move in next door and he is set for life.  You can just feel the relief in his voice as he lays back on the lounge chair with a cigarette in one hand and a beer in the other.

Not to long after that, a new family moved into our old house next door.  My dad just laughed at them knowing what a hell hole they had just moved into.  So, after two month's went by, again he stacked some red clay bricks from a future project, on our side of the block wall to see and reminisce about the good old days when he live in that hell hole only to see that the neighbor put in a pool, an actual putting green and a beautiful barbecue with a little fridge that hold ice to cool beer in.

My dad was in shock, I think he said something like this…“WTH”!!!  So he turn his head to see that he also has a wonderful yard as well, only to find that three of the plants were dead, several of the gold fish were belly up and yes, another unfinished barbecue pit.

You see, I learned later on after he passed away from drinking too much, that you take all of these attitudes, beliefs and behaviors with you through life like baggage.  So when I start judging people, I ask myself…”do I do that, and am I that way?”  Do I treat people like that?   If yes…change it.  If not, understand why this event has come into your life and then learn from it.

You see, we think that people really don't know who we really are.  But by our actions, it tells everyone who we really are.  We hold up this so call image of ourselves, kind of like a doily in front of us for other people to see who we think we are.  This doily is framed in a square which it's made up in a certain pattern with are made up of our attitudes, beliefs and behaviors.

Now, because this doily has this certain pattern, we can see through this doily to determine and judge how life should look too us.  What happen to my dad was that he saw life through that doily and sooner or later, the pattern in his life was the same, day after day, year after year.  Today's terminology it's known as a Rut.

But we really can change the way we see life by just turning the square doily clockwise or counter clockwise by just one degree.  This is known as an “attitude shift.” This shift allows us to look at life differently, then what we were use to seeing all the time through our attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors.  So you see, people really are a refection of us.  Just by looking at you, I can see the things within you, that I do or don't do.


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