Parent Etiquette!

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As I head this weekend to another out of town hockey tournament I felt “inspired” to share some thoughts about some proper parent (and grandparent) game etiquette. As with most tournaments, I usually see it all, screamers, complainers, people holding stop watches and those which if you asked who won the game, could not tell you. It’s a mix. But after 13 years of watching youth hockey and at least that many witnessing my own parents and relatives when I played – here’s a quick “clip and save” list of things to think about when watching your kid play.( Editors Note: Yes, I've done most of these myself, but really think I'm growing. Really! And it's a good refresher to write these down, so it's almost for therapeutic reasons I share these). 

1. Get out of the locker room. Skates tied properly (younger than Pee Wee). Check. Wearing the right game shirt. Check. Stick re-taped. Check. Now get out. Let the kids enjoy their time with their teammates, even if it includes hurling tape, ice and tennis balls at each other. It’s all part of the experience. And they’re nervous enough. When you’re in there – you screw around with the Karma. And on behalf of coaches, they’d like you out of there too.
2. The Refs can’t hear you. And when they can, you’ll probably be escorted out of the rink. Honestly, they couldn’t care less what you say, are not going to change a call the louder you scream (matter of fact, you may be encouraging them NOT to) and if you’re loud enough to identify will probably send you on a trip outside the rink.

3. Your kid doesn’t hear you. I’ll admit it, when my kids were in mite and mini-mite I honestly felt that my on-ice instruction from the stands during a game was extremely valuable. It wasn’t. It confused my kids, it ticked off the coach and made the parents around me squirm. Don’t do it. They’re fine. They’re having fun. They don’t need the pressure of you instructing them during a game. I’ve actually seen younger kids stop mid-stride to listen to a parent’s “instruction” during a game. Don’t do it.

4. Take a quick look around to see who you’re standing near. I can share about 50 horror stories of comments that I’ve heard made around team parents and the opposing parents about THEIR kid while they were standing there or behind the commentator. I once gave a running dialogue to a friend about a kid on the ice and their lack of skill sharing the puck when I realized his Mom was shooting video of said kid right next to me. I’m sure my comments were on the tape for all to “enjoy” throughout the year. I was mortified. Obviously the better statement would be – don’t criticize other kids ¬period, but I’m trying to be realistic. We’re hockey parents.

5. Don’t keep track of your kid’s ice time. I know this probably doesn’t NEED to be said, but I see it every year. Especially with the younger kids. I’ve seen Dads with stop watches, Dad’s with paper and pen keeping track of how long their kid’s shifts were. There are so many intangibles regarding a kid’s shift time. Game flow, whistles (some teams would rather just change lines on whistles than in the midst of game flow whether it’s 2 mins. Or 20 seconds) how well the line is playing (yes, sometimes your kid is getting short-shifted because they earned it!), etc. Let it go. It all evens out at the end.

6. Stay away from Goalie Dads (and Moms). They’re the ones at the far end of the rink watching their son or daughter from behind their net. They’re a special breed, don’t usually want to be messed with and honestly, just want to be left alone. They're a nervous wreck. You talk to them and they mess up their shot charts. You may not even know they attend games because they usually keep to themselves. Give them space. You’ll thank me later.

7. Enjoy it. Take pictures. Take Video. Cheer loudly (and positively). You’ve paid a lot of money for this experience. Don’t ruin it for yourself and everyone around you and especially – your kid.

Mi Hockey Kid