Friday, 23 September 2011

Hockey Parents: Don't Expect Others to Understand

Article from MI Hockey Kid! 

I was driving back from a client meeting with one of our employees this week and in the span of one hour received five calls. For most people this is not unusual and certainly not for me. In this case, however, four of the calls were hockey related. A young Dad, he looked at me after the fourth one and said, "how do you have time to get work done? My kid will NEVER play hockey."

I'm sure many of you can completely "feel my hockey pain," but for those people who've never lived this experience, they'll really never know. I'm not talking about how all-consuming being a hockey parent can be, but the fact that for most of us, it's really something we look forward to.

There are some hockey parents I see more than my wife, because we have multiple kids in multiple sports and I get most of the hockey duty. I WANT the hockey duty. I volunteer for it. His team also has four practices a week , so I get to spend A LOT of time with other hockey parents. Some of them I know better than friends I've had for decades. But I wouldn't have it any other way. Red Wings, Whalers, Griffins, etc. - you can have them. For me there's nothing I look forward to more in hockey than watching my son play. You can give me seats at half ice and four rows up for a Wings playoff game and I would frankly, rather watch my son skate against a division rival. I felt this way for all three kids that played from house to a high level of travel. It didn't matter the skill level. I just enjoyed the heck out of watching my kids compete. I coach baseball too, but it's not hockey. I know most of you feel the same way.

I've tried to explain all of this to parents who don't have their kids in hockey and I get the "well, I'd NEVER let my kid's schedule run my life like you allow his hockey schedule to run yours!" The smart alec answer is - "well, of course because your kid could never chew gum and skate at the same time so it's easy for you to say." But decorum (and civility) makes me respond more appropriately with "he doesn't run anything. I do this because he loves it and because of that, I love it too."
There's not a person in my office, family, church or social group who doesn't know I'm a hockey Dad. I'm a strange side-show to them. Someone who most think has lost his mind because of the travel and the amount of my week I devote to it for my son. But my fear isn't the fact that hockey will someday ruin my life. My greatest fear is it will all be over too soon.

For your Dads and Moms who feel overwhelmed by it all, take a deep breath and remember that for the vast majority of us, our kids aren't going to play in the NHL, or Juniors, or college and some won't make the high school team. It's the culture we appreciate and will remember. It's hanging around with people just as nuts as we are, enjoying a game that our kids will only be playing for a few short years. And it's the time in the car and in hotel rooms and in cold, dark, smelly rinks and locker rooms that he - and I - will never forget. The on ice stuff? They'll forget most of that and so will you.

I know people who every time they smell a pipe think of their late fathers and grandfathers. I just hope that when my kids become adults they'll get a chance to pass a rink, smell some wet equipment, watch a zamboni chugging along, watch some neighbor kids playing pond hockey or see a kid struggling to lace up skates they'll remember the time we had together. It's a very short season of life. Don't let anyone else take that away from you. Trust me, they'll never understand.

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